Besshoggud is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, thoughtless cat.

Besshoggud created the universe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Besshoggud, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Besshoggud, it will destroy your home solar system.

Besshoggud's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Besshoggud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Besshoggud.

3. Never go into blue rooms.

4. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Besshoggud in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not take Besshoggud's name in vain.