Voglendod Cedsandnutbonklarnxuclarn is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonourable human.

Voglendod Cedsandnutbonklarnxuclarn created the universe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Voglendod Cedsandnutbonklarnxuclarn, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Voglendod Cedsandnutbonklarnxuclarn, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Voglendod Cedsandnutbonklarnxuclarn's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Voglendod Cedsandnutbonklarnxuclarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not wear pink clothing.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never paint your chest orange.

5. Feed all hungry geese.