Dissdutfag is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, witless hydra.

Dissdutfag created Africa six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissdutfag, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dissdutfag, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Dissdutfag's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Dissdutfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Never feed peanuts to rats while wearing indigo skirts.

3. Never think about ultrasonics near capybaras while wearing gray rings and balancing eight platinum spheres on your face.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics.

5. Do not drink alcohol.