Quagfaggutnabzenmutkam is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, calm whale.

Quagfaggutnabzenmutkam created a strange quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Quagfaggutnabzenmutkam, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Quagfaggutnabzenmutkam, he will remove you from existence.

Quagfaggutnabzenmutkam's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Quagfaggutnabzenmutkam's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Run away from pink gulls, for they are unholy.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quagfaggutnabzenmutkam.