Witfaddam is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, self-assured chicken.

Witfaddam created viruses seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Witfaddam, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Witfaddam, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Witfaddam's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Witfaddam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never wear fawn stockings.

5. Always treat voles with great respect.