Arfcidnell is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, contented ferret.

Arfcidnell created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arfcidnell, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Arfcidnell, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Arfcidnell's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Arfcidnell's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four bats approach from the west.

2. You must love Arfcidnell.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.