Pibbepmum is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, humorless penguin.

Pibbepmum created the universe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibbepmum, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pibbepmum, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Pibbepmum's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Pibbepmum's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never paint your head cyan.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.