Cutpitmumsagsitbitfoss is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, quiet grasshopper.

Cutpitmumsagsitbitfoss created the Cigar Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cutpitmumsagsitbitfoss, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cutpitmumsagsitbitfoss, it will be mildly annoyed.

Cutpitmumsagsitbitfoss' most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Cutpitmumsagsitbitfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of lemons to squirrels while wearing mauve stockings.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Cutpitmumsagsitbitfoss.

3. Retreat if three gulls approach from the north.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.