Ripnelmipyart is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, calm scorpion.

Ripnelmipyart created a photon four years ago.

If you believe in Ripnelmipyart, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ripnelmipyart, it will turn you into a tree.

Ripnelmipyart's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Ripnelmipyart's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near otters while wearing pink hats and balancing four silver spheres on your head.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.