Stantifmif is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, grumpy butterfly.

Stantifmif created the world eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stantifmif, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Stantifmif, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Stantifmif's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Stantifmif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three hamsters in a large pit.

2. Never think about archaea.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Stantifmif on top of all buildings.

5. Always obey Stantifmif's priests.