Flyflamvonk is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, idiotic monkey.

Flyflamvonk created a Higgs boson six million years ago.

If you believe in Flyflamvonk, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flyflamvonk, it will refuse to believe in you.

Flyflamvonk's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Flyflamvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics.

2. Never feed figs to horses while wearing red shirts.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never hurt capybaras.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.