Flyflamvonk is a god.
It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, idiotic
monkey.
Flyflamvonk created a Higgs boson six million years ago.
If you believe in
Flyflamvonk, it will give you great power.
If you do not believe in
Flyflamvonk, it will refuse to believe in you.
Flyflamvonk's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.
Flyflamvonk's Holy Commandments1. Never talk about solid mechanics.
2. Never feed figs to horses while wearing red shirts.
3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.
4. Never hurt capybaras.
5. Show mercy to disobedient children.