Sitnartnab is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, humane otter.

Sitnartnab created water four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sitnartnab, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sitnartnab, he will turn you into a slug.

Sitnartnab's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Sitnartnab's Holy Commandments

1. Put Sitnartnab first in all things.

2. Erect five zinc sculptures of Sitnartnab on top of important buildings.

3. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not commit murder.