Volzanfun is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, smart unicorn.

Volzanfun created an atom seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Volzanfun, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Volzanfun, it will destroy your home planet.

Volzanfun's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Volzanfun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never eat wheat.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never wear kilts.

5. Never think about special relativity.