Cussmapbam is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, intelligent faun.

Cussmapbam created humanity four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cussmapbam, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cussmapbam, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Cussmapbam's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Cussmapbam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Always wear white.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never eat oranges.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cussmapbam.