Banfengess is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, all-powerful armadillo.

Banfengess created a strange quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Banfengess, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Banfengess, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Banfengess' most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Banfengess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not hurt dolphins.

3. Run away from pink doves, for they are unholy.

4. Never look at galaxies.

5. Never talk about comets.