Yotyetzan is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, overgenerous mole.

Yotyetzan created the universe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yotyetzan, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yotyetzan, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Yotyetzan's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Yotyetzan's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yotyetzan.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Never eat green fruit.