Larpgodsad is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, generous jaguar.

Larpgodsad created dark matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larpgodsad, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Larpgodsad, he will turn you into a slug.

Larpgodsad's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Larpgodsad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always look after injured snails.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Always treat dogs with great respect.