Bastlitmad is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unjust beaver.

Bastlitmad created the cosmos five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bastlitmad, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bastlitmad, it will send you a sign.

Bastlitmad's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Bastlitmad's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism near eagles while wearing pink corsets and balancing seven silicon spheres on your back.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.