Hapgemsagarm is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, charitable tortoise.

Hapgemsagarm created life four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapgemsagarm, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hapgemsagarm, she will be mildly annoyed.

Hapgemsagarm's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Hapgemsagarm's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Feed all hungry nematodes.

5. Never jump in the presence of tapirs.