Hinyikbap is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, tiresome manatee.

Hinyikbap created the planet Jupiter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinyikbap, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hinyikbap, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Hinyikbap's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Hinyikbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about bacteria.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. Never think about special relativity.

4. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Hinyikbap on top of all buildings.

5. Never look in ponds.