Kabbogarn is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, emotional centipede.

Kabbogarn created the planet Earth nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabbogarn, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kabbogarn, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Kabbogarn's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Kabbogarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of voles.

2. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

3. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Kabbogarn in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Respect your elders.