Fumfoddod is a god.

It takes the form of a large, flying snail.

Fumfoddod created the solar system four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fumfoddod, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fumfoddod, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Fumfoddod's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Fumfoddod's Holy Commandments

1. Put Fumfoddod first in all things.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always help monkeys.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

5. Worship no other gods but Fumfoddod.