Flabcussdad is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, amazing owl.

Flabcussdad created the Sunflower Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabcussdad, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Flabcussdad, he will turn you into a goat.

Flabcussdad's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Flabcussdad's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not wear white clothing.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Flabcussdad.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.