Larnjipsaf is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, duplicitous manatee.

Larnjipsaf created the Sun three million years ago.

If you believe in Larnjipsaf, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Larnjipsaf, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Larnjipsaf's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Larnjipsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never talk about capybaras.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Larnjipsaf.

5. Never eat bark.