Sigtifsagmap is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, thoughtless bat.

Sigtifsagmap created viruses seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sigtifsagmap, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sigtifsagmap, it will manifest in front of you.

Sigtifsagmap's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Sigtifsagmap's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Sigtifsagmap.

2. Never eat corn.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not make images of living things.