Yarptagquag is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, irritating giraffe.

Yarptagquag created the planet Jupiter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarptagquag, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yarptagquag, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Yarptagquag's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Yarptagquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

2. Always obey Yarptagquag's priests.

3. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

4. Worship no other gods but Yarptagquag.

5. Do not keep six pigs in a large pit.