Jopnellfet is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonourable cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Jopnellfet created dark energy two years ago.

If you believe in Jopnellfet, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Jopnellfet, it will boil you in a big pot.

Jopnellfet's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Jopnellfet's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Hide from brown swans for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never eat peas.