Gupingstik is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, blissful gnu.

Gupingstik created bats two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gupingstik, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gupingstik, it will turn you into a puffin.

Gupingstik's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Gupingstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear nickel on your body.

2. Do not keep five seals in a large pit.

3. Never wear rings.

4. Do not kill dogs.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.