Cadnathen is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, astonishing bear.

Cadnathen created the planet Mars six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cadnathen, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cadnathen, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Cadnathen's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Cadnathen's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never wear magenta ear rings.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never play with disobedient children.