Titzagtit is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, merciful hippopotamus.

Titzagtit created an electron four million years ago.

If you believe in Titzagtit, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Titzagtit, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Titzagtit's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Titzagtit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about voles.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.