Dinboncum is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, weak crocodile.

Dinboncum created tapeworms four million years ago.

If you believe in Dinboncum, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dinboncum, she will turn you into a hamster.

Dinboncum's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Dinboncum's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear hats.

2. Hide if nine tapirs approach from the west.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never think about stars.