Ruttbapgab is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, proud penguin.

Ruttbapgab created tapeworms eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttbapgab, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ruttbapgab, he will turn you into a goat.

Ruttbapgab's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Ruttbapgab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics.

2. Worship no other gods but Ruttbapgab.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always help sick capybaras.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.