Popmidnak is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, thoughtless goat.

Popmidnak created the Whirlpool Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Popmidnak, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Popmidnak, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Popmidnak's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Popmidnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near grasshopers.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not drink alcohol.