Yogcussbest is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, pitiless guinea pig.

Yogcussbest created a photon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Yogcussbest, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yogcussbest, she will send minions to preach to you.

Yogcussbest's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Yogcussbest's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always wear fawn.