Pinzenbell is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, almighty shark.

Pinzenbell created life three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pinzenbell, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Pinzenbell, he will destroy your home planet.

Pinzenbell's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Pinzenbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of sheep.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Pinzenbell must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never talk about turtles.

5. Never write about thermodynamics.