Faggam is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, generous wombat.

Faggam created everything that exists four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Faggam, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Faggam, she will destroy your home planet.

Faggam's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Faggam's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three zinc sculptures of Faggam on top of important buildings.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Faggam on top of all buildings.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near ducks while wearing orange dresses and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your head.

5. Always wear purple.