Safstafyik is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, awe-inspiring porpoise.

Safstafyik created a charm quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Safstafyik, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Safstafyik, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Safstafyik's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Safstafyik's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from red mites, for they are unholy.

2. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.

3. Do not keep eight frogs in a large pit.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.