Mabtag is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, compassionate tortoise.

Mabtag created the planet Saturn seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Mabtag, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Mabtag, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Mabtag's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Mabtag's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from green mice for they are unholy.

2. Put Mabtag first in all things.

3. Retreat if four badgers approach from the north.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Do not wear white clothing.