Cardibflam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, awe-inspiring penguin.

Cardibflam created a top quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cardibflam, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cardibflam, he will turn you into a puffin.

Cardibflam's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Cardibflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never run near swans.

4. Do not eat oranges.

5. Never jump in holy places.