Gepyamxuc is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, self-confident chicken.

Gepyamxuc created the planet Mars nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepyamxuc, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gepyamxuc, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gepyamxuc's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Gepyamxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Gepyamxuc.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not wear violet clothing.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink alcohol.