Lidbinrat is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, contented swallow.

Lidbinrat created dark energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lidbinrat, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lidbinrat, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Lidbinrat's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Lidbinrat's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Hide from blue monkeys for they are unholy.

3. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Lidbinrat on top of all buildings.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Worship no other gods but Lidbinrat.