Quafxintif Tiptimlamstikdutpin is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, confident meerkat.

Quafxintif Tiptimlamstikdutpin created time and space three million years ago.

If you believe in Quafxintif Tiptimlamstikdutpin, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Quafxintif Tiptimlamstikdutpin, it will ignore you.

Quafxintif Tiptimlamstikdutpin's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Quafxintif Tiptimlamstikdutpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Feed all hungry porpoises.

5. Fast once a month.