Higbadcip Labbettin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, compassionate gorilla.

Higbadcip Labbettin created a Higgs boson seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Higbadcip Labbettin, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Higbadcip Labbettin, he will have a low opinion of you.

Higbadcip Labbettin's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Higbadcip Labbettin's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine lead sculptures of Higbadcip Labbettin on top of important buildings.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near monkeys while wearing orange skirts.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Higbadcip Labbettin loves foxes, so they must be respected.