Zanjondid is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, omnipotent manatee.

Zanjondid created the Black Eye Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Zanjondid, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zanjondid, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Zanjondid's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Zanjondid's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never feed parsnips to dolphins while wearing orange hats.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.