Jamyartflapwat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, charitable mole.

Jamyartflapwat created silver nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jamyartflapwat, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jamyartflapwat, it will turn you into a snail.

Jamyartflapwat's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Jamyartflapwat's Holy Commandments

1. Put Jamyartflapwat first in all things.

2. Never talk about dark energy near pigs while wearing gray kilts.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never eat melons.

5. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in green.