Gebcibraw is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, merciless narwhal.

Gebcibraw created viruses five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gebcibraw, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gebcibraw, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Gebcibraw's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Gebcibraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about capybaras.

2. Never think ill of sick dogs.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not kill seals.