Bessgunpon is a god.

She takes the form of a large, flying walrus.

Bessgunpon created an up quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bessgunpon, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bessgunpon, she will turn you into a sheep.

Bessgunpon's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Bessgunpon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Always help frogs in need.