Jadbapfen is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, dishonest coyote.

Jadbapfen created Mount Everest two years ago.

If you believe in Jadbapfen, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jadbapfen, it will try to impress you with trees.

Jadbapfen's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Jadbapfen's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry doves.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

5. Never write about gravity.