Betjonmip Bopyarren is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, idiotic sheep.

Betjonmip Bopyarren created the Cigar Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Betjonmip Bopyarren, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Betjonmip Bopyarren, she will turn you into a tree.

Betjonmip Bopyarren's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Betjonmip Bopyarren's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never think about solid mechanics near dogs while wearing violet tights and balancing three tin spheres on your legs.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never feed parsnips to geese while wearing stockings.