Xuckamcep is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, annoying raccoon.

Xuckamcep created the planet Saturn seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckamcep, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Xuckamcep, he will not care.

Xuckamcep's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Xuckamcep's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chlorophyll.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Xuckamcep in the centre of the settlement.

4. Sheep are not to be trusted.

5. Never think about asteroids.